New life, new surroundings, new people, everything is new. What we surround ourselves with reflects how we feel, what is going on inside our heads. I am not surprised necessarily. But, I do find myself wondering how this all plays out.
I've moved in with my BFF for now. It's a temporary situation. As long as I need. Today is the one week mark. My BFF did not tell me her BF had moved in with her. I am most definitely a third wheel. I am a welcome third wheel, but the third nonetheless. Each morning before the two of them go to work there is a lovely moment in the kitchen where they come together in each others arms, they speak softly, they kiss repeatedly. They say goodbye. It is a lovely moment.
Ah, to surround myself in this. I wonder, from the outside of this, at how alone I've been. How I've come to expect to be on the outside. I wonder at how I have taken the requirements of the day and filled my life with tasks and goals. I've been alone, mostly by choice, taking care of daily requirements for some time now. From where I sit, in this temporary situation, their care of each other has started a niggling feeling that maybe the way I have orchestrated my life needs a fresh stanza. I have enough things that still require my care before I will feel available(?) to write a more open movement to this symphony of my life.
I'm in no hurry. I guess I figure people come into my life as I'm ready. I ain't ready yet. I am pleased for her, and for him. When I'm ready, whether I know it or not, then I will be giving morning kisses too. In the meantime it's a glorious morning on the northwest, time to go running and then I'll be getting my bicycle up and running - it didn't make the trip as tuned as it was when it was packed.