Atma Yoga Classes

Today was the first day of yoga teacher training class.    I've been studying the last two weeks for this class.  Today was the first day of "contact" hours for my newest learning endeavor.  I really shouldn't worry so much.  We had a wonderful class.  I believe we will all be fine and compassionate and learned yoga teachers.  I enjoy the instructor, and I very much enjoyed the interactive participation of the group.  There are fourteen people, when I think to count.  Maybe there are only eleven students...we have three teacher trainers.

Atma Yoga is located in Tacoma, Washington.  And oh, what a beautiful day in Tacoma.  I fell in love with Opera Alley near our studio/teaching lounge.  Jazz club on the corner is B Square.  it is now on my list for the next night out for jazz.  No need to drive the hour to Seattle, I can get my jazz fix nearer to home.

Tacoma has beautiful murals all through the city.  I had no idea.  Tacoma seems like the best kept secret in Western Washington.  It's a sleepy little city on a Sunday...at least during our break for lunch between asana-s practices and lectures.  

Atma  is the sanskrit word for the individual soul or essence within the universal.  Or as dictionary .com says: the individual self, known after enlightenment to be identical with Brahman. 

We spoke of Atma at length in class.  Though it is not the definition given during class - I truly believe dictionary.com definition is spot on.

This is going to be a great fall.  I am looking forward to the journey...and Tacoma has grabbed my attention too.

Atma Yoga Classes

Today was the first day of yoga teacher training class.    I've been studying the last two weeks for this class.  Today was the first day of "contact" hours for my newest learning endeavor.  No need to worry so much.  We had a wonderful class.  I believe we will all be fine and compassionate and learned yoga teachers.  I enjoy the instructor, and I very much enjoyed the interactive participation of the group.  There are fourteen people, when I think to count.  Maybe there are only eleven students...we have three teacher trainers.

Atma Yoga is located in Tacoma, Washington.  And oh, what a beautiful day in Tacoma.  I fell in love with Opera Alley near our studio/teaching lounge.  Jazz club on the corner is B Square.  it is now on my list for the next night out for jazz.  No need to drive the hour to Seattle, I can get my jazz fix nearer to home.

Tacoma has beautiful murals all through the city.  I had no idea.  Tacoma seems like the best kept secret in Western Washington.  It's a sleepy little city on a Sunday...at least during our break for lunch between asana-s practices and lectures.  

Atma  is the sanskrit word for the individual soul or essence within the universal.  Or as dictionary .com says: the individual self, known after enlightenment to be identical with Brahman. 

We spoke of Atma at length in class.  Though it is not the definition given during class - I truly believe dictionary.com definition is spot on.

This is going to be a great fall.  I am looking forward to the journey...and Tacoma has grabbed my attention too.

In the Last Five Years

In the last five years I have had the opportunity to do some amazing things. I moved to Washington State 5 years ago this week and today is a great day to mark the anniversary of my arrival.

In the last 5 years I -

Ran a half-Marathon.

Went to Paradise (and had a snowball fight while I was there).

Wrote 2 novels - one 50,000+ words, the second 100,000+ words (edits are NOT complete yet).

Got a job.

Got a promotion.

Married off a daughter.

Launched another daughter.

Changed cell phone plans (harder than it sounds.)

Changed cell phone plans again (I got it down this time. I have no FEAR)

Dealt with and defeated the Wicked Witch of Stupid Office Politics and Power Mongering (and I got a better job out of defeating that witch...damn I'm good)

Furnished an apartment exactly as I wanted.

Bought a car for $100 - and I've been driving it for 2+ years now.

Sold my truck for good money while it was still a working vehicle.

I have visited my family every year that I have been here. Sometimes they come to me. And sometimes I go to them.

I was named Women's Division Leader at my "house of worship". That was cool.

Broke my ankle.

Took up skiing again (in that order).

I caught a HUGE salmon!

I pulled clams out of the sand.

I held a starfish and tiptoed through Sand Dollar beds.

I went to a parade of Naked Bicylists (three years in a row - I have photos to prove it).

Went to a professional baseball game.

Went to a professional Football game.

I've let Green Frogs sing me to sleep and wake me up in the morning.

I sang to Calliope music.

I rode a Ferry across the Sound.

I drove over the pass in late winter.

I'm going to keep thinking on this. Maybe add to the list. I've done a lot in the last five years. And in remembering all that has occurred lies a happiness that I cannot deny.

Life is good.

Day 6 - Meditations update - Reminders are good

Today has been an eye opener.  I mistakenly deleted the usual Mediation e-mails that I receive each day.  this lead me to sign in to the website to retrieve the information.  I find I am looking forward to these e-mails.  Hey, hey...on the webiste there is a  bunch of great information.  There is a soundtrack of guided meditation that lasts the entire 15 minutes.  There is a journal area as well.  Today I used the journal and it was such a confirmition of how I feel.  I can only reinterate that things happen for a reason.  It was a great time to find out all the tools available for signing in to a website.

The meditations themselves are still focusing on self and on self-esteem.  The focus is still on the self and feeling well enough to put this good feeling out there to the ones that matter in our lives.  Today I was struck by rememberences of things I have let slide for myself.  I feel I'm getting my mojo back.  I didn't know I had lost it.  I still have dreams to make come true.  I still put those things on the back burner.  I still feel amazingly well when I bring these goals back up to the forefront.  I can tell here that I love reminders.  These last 6 days of mediation have been a great reminder.

Challenge within a Challenge

I thought that finishing a quilt in 30 days, even a partially completed one, was a pretty big challenge. I was feeling pretty full of myself that I would take on this great feat, and publicly no less. But no, my friend throws in the mix, in the middle of the mix, a quilt in an afternoon challenge. And I still call her a friend.

Discussing Binding Tape

(very cool invention for quilter's doing crazy challenges)

I was sewing like the devil. My needle was flying. (cue music "Devil Went Down to Georgia" ) The lights were intense over the work stations. I was sewing, sewing. sewing.

(cut music: lights up.

Scene: family spaghetti dinner - discussion: American Political History

Cue elevator Musak - several bars of Girl from Ipanema)

(cut lights: back to sewing stations.

cue music: Devil Went Down to Georgia.)

Oh, it was grueling. But, I was up to the challenge. Filling bobbins, cleaning bobbin casings, letting the thread fly again through the needle. Oh the intensity of it all...

In the end, the devil won. I didn't do it. I wasn't able to construct a quilt in an afternoon. For that matter, I got up there at 1:30 p.m. or so and didn't leave until 10 p.m.-ish. I did get all the way to the binding, that got sewn on but needs adjusting (I kinda screwed up...). There's maybe 45 minutes of work left on the quilt. It's an hour drive home out of the mountains and lord knows the devil takes 'em when they's tired.

My machine is back on the table at home here, but still in the case. I don't want to open the case on an overheated sewing machine. Best to let it cool a bit...

7 Days Into this Challenge

I'm seven days into this challenge to finish Katie's quilt and I am already feeling the stretch. I have finished the blocks of gradient color. The rest of the blocks are all black. It should be a breeze, but there are 11 of them. That translates into 5 hours of sewing. I can only hope that because they are all black I can whip through these without thinking. Can I get this part done by Thursday night? I only have enough energy to go at this a couple hours a night on week nights.

If I could have this done by Thursday, these last few black only blocks, I would be able to lay out the combinations (on the floor for a visual) to find the blocks that I sewed in reverse last year and get them redone. I could be, quite possibly could be, piecing the quilt top together by this Saturday. Thursday is the first goal...I'm shooting to have all sixty blocks finished (round one) by Thursday.

Go Team!!

Getting Serious, or not

I starting taking apart the machine this morning. The sewing machine is skipping stitches again. I was going to have a sewing machine shipped out to me but it seems there is no Greyhound bus station in the little Wisconsin burg to drop the shipment off at. (Is that a dangling participle? Something is dangling...oops, back on track...) I did take a look at the machinery and all looks well. I will need another machine for the actual quilting, the stuff that shows (I'm not a handstitch quilter). I have one more person to go to nearby to borrow from. I'm waiting until I get to that point of quilting before I borrow. This machine will get all the piecing done, the top of the quilt and the back of the quilt can all be done with this machine. I put it all back together this morning and got one more block put together. Every bit helps.

Yesterday I pulled together several block AND watched the football game. No need to deny myself the best of entertainment, especially with friends. I've had a good week in general. I guess I just feel better when I have a project, an active interest. It seems when I'm not working on this quilt my mind falls into rollercoaster mode. I find myself laughing out loud at the innuendo my brain comes up with. I might be crazy, but at least I find myself entertaining.

The Before Photos

The challenge begins today. I promised myself I would start on August 15, and that within 30 days I would have Katie's Quilt finished. Yesterday I took the table cloth off the dining table. I cleared the area of the other half-baked projects, old mail, expired coupons, and last weeks wilting flowers. Last night I replaced two lightbulbs in the ceiling fixture. (we go through a lot of lightbulbs around here). This morning I opened the banker's box that holds all of The Project that is Katie's Quilt and laid out the parts and pieces. I think...we are ready for a thirty day push to the finish line. In real-time I should be posting finished quilt photos on September 13.

Finished (adjective); completed or perfected in all details. Quilted, bound and delivered.

A quick recap here - I started this quilt the spring Katie (otherwise known as Thing One) graduated high school. I take that back, I start this quilt that previous fall making the pattern. Kate chose a quilt that did not include a pattern with the photo in the book.

Let's see that was...2007(?). The quilt was supposed to be done and presented to her upon her high school graduation in 2008. She upheld her end and graduated. Me, well, I must be on the short bus. I'm a little slow.

The pattern is rather involved, maybe even confusing at times. As my defense to keep things straight I constructed the quilt in miniature using paper. I came up with this paper model to keep me on track. The style of quilt block is a Twisted Log Cabin. Kate chose the Equilateral Triangle. Under the kitchen counter, here, is the pattern (you see it as it is today, after several years of referring to it.)

I think we should consider these the "Before" photos. Even if they are really the "Mid-Way" photos. When I'm done posting here on the computer I will be sewing. As I type this right now, I have a marked feeling of procrastination.

I expect to be posting updates daily. There's only 29 to go.

Maybe just a list today

I've started a couple entries now and somehow nothing is of any particular interest; to me at any rate.

An overview of all I've written and deleted would read:

*Quit smoking, again. Thank you goes to a good friend that blew through town in July. Face and complexion are clearing. Smile is genuine.
*Mom's surgery went well. She is wondering why I get so worked up. I'm wondering why parents don't behave.
*Work is going well. I truly have no complaints. None. I think I should have complaints. That is my only complaint.
*Financially I'm still on track. (I am surprised to be spending so much on food & groceries. I mean, like, twice what I think I "should" spend on keeping myself fed. Will work to bring that down.) Still, I spent less than I made and I sent that off to pay down my loan from May. It is now a source of pride to be taking care of that.
*Football season is back on.
*Life is good.

* Oh and - I really like Gore Vidal's Lincoln. Chatty, opinionated characters, gossipy. It's a delightful read (so far). Did it have to be such a fat book? It lifts like a doorstop.

Truth Hurts

Truth is the phones are turned off. I can't pay the bill. Truth is my truck is sitting at the curb still broken. I didn't pay the bill to have it towed. I owe my mom for that. The part comes tomorrow and a friend has offered to fix it. Truth is I am unable to leave my children in trouble even at the expense of myself. That truth cost me $500 in bail money for a "simple" bench warrant and the loss of all our family phone service. Truth is my tooth cracked last week and now my jaw hurts. I have insurance, but if I read the policy correctly this has minimal coverage which makes me wonder what I pay a premium for. Truth is I live paycheck to paycheck and a little over every payday. Truth is I've hit a low point of knowledge that roars like a lion that I never ever want to be here again. I am at a point that I see how long I've been fooling myself.

Sitting down tonight with paper, pencil, bank statement, pay stubs it looks like I can do this. On paper my financial life looks solid. it looks good. It looks like I can pay my way and put $50 a month in savings too. But it's not been happening. This can't continue. I cannot live this way any longer. I look at the numbers and I don't know what to do. I don't understand where the disconnect between paper and living occurs. I've been writing down every penny that goes out this last week. And then it all exploded in my face. I feel like life came at me in fists. The money boogeyman came at me with a rage at being found out. Yeah, I'm bruised. I sit licking my wounds wondering how to connect what I see on paper to how I actually live. The dots have to connect. There is no other choice.

Isn't it telling that the week I felt I had made a determination to truly get a handle on my financial life it just imploded. The house of cards fell. My determination is rising. I'm mad. I'm mad at myself. I did nothing wrong. I did everything wrong. There has to got be a connect. I have got to find the connection between what I see on paper and how I live my life. Truth hurts. Tracking only goes so far. Changes have to happen.

Down to one car

What an eventful week...not all good, not all bad. Yes, as the title says we three drivers with three jobs are down to one car. Mine bit the dust on Monday. It was only $124 to tow it home. I was expecting the $300 range, so I'm allowed to say "only". My mother was visiting this week. Yes, she was in the truck when it decided to spew oil onto the windshield. I do remember remarking on how I didn't see anyone toss a cup of coffee out the window on the freeway just then. Mom remarked back that she didn't see anyone do that either. That's when I noticed my oil gauge peg lounging, resting, napping at the bottom of the dial. Big sigh here. Like I said, I picked the truck up, got it home, and I'm dusting it off to ride again.

Thank god for friends. Have I mentioned lately how much I have come to truly appreciate my friends? And not just times like now. I mean to tell you we have watched plenty of football games together and eaten our share of nachos for the year together along with that. What surprises me is how friends rally around when the going gets tough. It's this friend that talked me through possible scenarios for my truck drama, who then stopped over that Monday night after work to look under the hood. He popped back in yesterday to watch under the hood while I cranked the car up to see which hose is spewing oil. His wife borrowed me a car to get my mother back to the airport on Friday morning before work. I am blessed.

So now we are down to one car. Thing One is working a second job. Thing Two is picking up extra shifts as fast as they become available and I am riding my beloved bus with new and different connections to get where I'm going. Grocery shopping is difficult. It is a timed event to shop and get the car home in time for someone to go to work.

Yesterday I started the "Log". What I mean to say is I started a small notebook to record every nickel, dime and penny I spend. I'm going to need a vehicle sooner rather than later. I had hoped to change my homestead, find a house with some sunshine. It seems I should make a vehicle my priority. Either way, to dispel the Money Boogeyman I will be watching him to see where he hides, where he rears his ugly face, what treasures he drags away kicking and screaming this time - rather than just letting him have the shadows I'm installing an halogen light fixture to see what needs to be rearranged so he has less access to my money. We'll see what comes of this. Hopefully a car, or a home, or both.

Other stuff happened this week that were awkward, uncomfortable and some downright frightening. Deja Vu moments left me worried about future scenarios. It's an uncomfortable time. It's life. I'm surrounded by love, and that helps. That helps a lot.

Oh, Thing Two will only be here for another three weeks or so....big sigh...Life happens. What an adventure.

Two weeks

Just keeping count, or tabs, or whatever...until I don't have to anymore.

I do appreciate the hypnosis recordings. I would recommend that option or helping hand to anyone. Drug free and feels good. It's staying in my arsenal.

It snowed last night. That was fun to watch...a little late in the season for my tastes. I hope the skiers are having a good time this year.

7 Days

Tuesday I almost blew it. I asked to bum one. I didn't mean it. And nobody came up with anything to smoke, and I was glad for that. I did realize that the hardest time for me is when I am coming home from work. I breath funny during that time. In through the nose, out through the mouth. It helps get over any cravings.

April Fools Day tomorrow. I'd love to come up with a treat for myself. Just to celebrate April.

I got in touch with the coaches from the marathon last year to see if they want any help with the water stops. I will be helping out this Saturday and twice in May. It makes me want to run again. I should find a group that runs the mountains trails around here. I know people do. I should be looking for a group. I'll be signing up for tennis in the meantime. It's all good.

And I made it a week. not bad...

Day 3

I made it to day 3. Not that I didn't go clean out my bedroom a little bit looking for any leftovers. Yes, I would have smoked 'em. Of course, just to finish them off and really have a clean house. But, the house was clean, so I've made it to day 3.

It wasn't a big craving...but it was a craving yesterday as I checked hiding places in the closet and my bureau. Today it's a little more. Nothing too bad. I did find the hynosis CD I got that time I went through hypnosis for this. I remember listening to it a couple times and thinking I need to rewrite it to better fit my issues. I've not listened to it yet this weekend. I haven't found my earphones. I'm pretty sure my daughters would be thrilled to turn down the television (disney channel of course) to let me listen to this CD. If I end up listening to it for the week, or month as is recommended, I will definitely be rewriting it. I'm not sure I'm a good hypnosis candidate. I just know I feel wonderful after a hypnosis session. I feel wonderful for months. What a great drug!

Still breathing.

Day 1

Let's do it again. This time for a week. Goals this week are:

1. No borrowing (like using someone's toothbrush)
2. No buying (you're broke anyway)
3. Find that Hypnosis CD and listen to it - both am AND pm
4. Relax & Smile
5. Remember it's just for one week (or a month maybe)

Note to self:
remember too there is the dermatologist appt on Monday following this - how cool to go in "clean". Yeah, it's pride. So what? and Why not?

Breathe, just remember to breathe, you'll be fine.

March 26 is day two.

Motivation

I was perusing old e-mails looking for a particular link I wanted to share with a co-worker. Motivational stuff I thought would be useful. Instead of finding the e-mail I was looking for I found the e-mail regarding being laid off at work from two years ago. I find myself wallowing in it.

I wonder, of all the things I give away, toss out, clear from my space, why do I keep all my e-mails? Why did I keep that one? It should be motivational - I mean really, what a way to re-start life. It was certainly motivating at the time. I'm not feeling motivated at the moment. I scroll through all the e-mails in that one folder alone (the folder marked family) and I am struck by the missed opportunities, the dreams not made manifest. I wonder, any other day would I be seeing the connections that were made, the funnies that were shared, the airline tickets that have criss-crossed the country? I am sorry that I came across that e-mail. I'm sorry that I opened it again and read it. AND YET, I'm not sure I'm ready to delete it. Why is that?

New directions - Steps 21-23

Step #21 (of 36,432 steps)
Blog launch is coming along. I have an illustrator now. She is excited and looking forward to the whole idea of being an illustrator. I've been putting finishing touches on some new posts for the new blog. Funny, as I re-read, re-view and generally polish up what I've written I'm not sure I would call these fariytales. It makes me wonder how my voice will change and grow this coming year. Three posts a week is quite a challenge. I'm feeling good about stretching myself this way.

Step #23
I'll be talking with some folks that are a little quicker in the CSS side of blog management than I. That's the side that adds style and formatting to a blog. I found a nice background that fits the tone of what I think I'm going for. Cross your fingers that I will have "the look" I had hoped for when I first envisioned this.

Blog launch is set for January 1st. I'm over at Wordpress for now. I'll give an actual address for RSS feed and Readers sometime between Christmas and New Years. This is a rather public challenge for me. Public in a different way than running the 1/2 marathon last year. It is still every bit the challenge the marathon was. It definitely has the same bit of excitement.

Cooking behind the scenes

I've been giving some thoughts to my new blog. I've been reading my favorite blogs and making mental notes on why they are favorites. Many of them are favorites to tens of thousands of people. Hey, how'd they do that? Today I clicked away from some of my favorites with a sense of how easily they wrote, or how easy it was to read. They make it look easy. Yes, there are a couple blogs that work at trying to be engaging or interactive. I generally don't take the bait, but when they are not working the crowd they are delightful.

I've been getting some writing done. I've been looking into themes and wondering how much of the CSS I want to mess with to get a nice page view with the flavor I want to create. I'm cooking, I guess. I'm still getting everything out on the counter - the sugar and flour and baking powder (hmm, must be pancakes). I'm writing and searching, bookmarking and downloading. I've been keeping a paper log of what I mean to accomplish here. One thing I want to accomplish is trusting myself that I can do this.

I don't know at what point I start mixing the ingredients. I don't have all I need yet to assemble this thing. The reveal will be at the end of the month. There...there's the deadline. Oh gawd, I better get moving on this!

Time for Changes

I feel compelled to make some blogging changes. I'm having way too much fun with the Fairytales. I'm only posting half of what I'm writing, and I'm only writing a third of what I'm thinking. Fairytales could easily take over this blog. Time to start a new one; a new blog.

I actually have six blogs out there. Strange but true. This and two others are the only ones to get my attention anymore. They only get attention once every couple months or so. I'm thankful for all of them. The other three languish, not wanting to be deleted, but not knowing what, if anything, is to become of them. I feel sorry for the blogs.

I like the options and the ease of Wordpress. So, I'm thinking of linking (I love the sound that makes...say it out loud.) this blog to the new one. I'm thinking of linking into my Facebook page too. I didn't like having this blog linked to Facebook - it took over the whole effing screen and seemed so tasteless and overbearing. There's got to be a better way. Another thought is to have an illustrator for the new blog. The young lady I would like to draw for me draws amazing pen and ink drawings of nature that I would love to share with everyone. Not every story needs a picture...she can just do the ones that she finds compelling. I need to ask her mom if it's okay. I'd need to ask the young lady if she accepts peanuts in exchange for her magnificent art work. My printer may not work, but my scanner does. And then there's the matter of putting her name and the blog link embedded into the illustration. I'm sure it's a pretty routine matter, I've just not looked into it before. It dawns on me I know another illustrator. I wonder...would he be interested? huh...

I don't even know what to call the new blog. Of course, I want something clever. And I want something memorable. Mostly I want to call it what it is, something obvious or something that will become obvious. I just don't know what the obvious is right now.

Mostly, right now I'd like to take my time and do some designing and some preperatory work so that once I start posting I'm happy with it already. I'd like to get some stories ready, some illustrations and a posting schedule (Sunday, Wednesday, Friday? or...). Maybe an unveiling in January. It is nice to have a fun project for the new year.

And now a word from our Poet Laureate

Without her permission, Kay Ryan, one of America's Poet Laureate's poems...

The Other Shoe

Oh if it were

only the other

shoe hanging

in space before

joining its mate.

My prayer for you then is - may your shoes drop in the preferred order.