Day 7 meditation challenge update

I have to admit that meditating each day is good for my soul. It's been a week now and the meditations are actually more fulfilling. These are meditations on relationships, even if here in the beginning they are meditations for self. I have seen an easiness in all my transactions with people become the new normal. I feel more genuine. Not that I ever felt disingenuous. My interactions just feel more genuine. Today's meditations explored the ultimate eternity of my soul, of every one's soul for that matter. Even though these thoughts fit no where in my day, as an undercurrent it was nice. It lightened the entire day. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. There are miracles in the pipeline of my life right now. It's a great feeling. It may be a miracle with myself. It may be a miracle with those around me. Paulo Coelho wrote, and I'm paraphrasing, "give us this day our daily miracle, whether we can see it or not." He goes on to write, Let us speak the language of angels among ourselves.". Notes to self: I must buy his book, Manuscript from Accra.

I Shoulda Put Money On It

I knew it.  I absolutely knew it.  Any grand ideation for wonderful relationships has to start with oneself.  So Yep, here we are at day 2 of the 21 day Meditation Challenge and the focus today is (drum roll)..."Miraculous You". 

Now I'm not going to argue with the wonders of treating yourself well, being kind to yourself, giving yourself permission to be happy.  These are truly wonderful things.  In fact I have no qualms with today's meditation focus at all.  The more I breathe and relax into now the quieter my internal head gets and it is just easier to smile - for no good reason.

But I shoulda put money on it that the "Miraculous relationship" expounded would be the relationship with you.

Thousands of Miles

I stood this evening with a pair of binoculars staring at the moon. These were very nice binoculars. Each eye piece focuses independently. When I had taken my time to focus the binoculars as well as I could I stood in the doorway with the binoculars to my eyes staring at the moon. The moon craters and some topography seemed fairly apparent. How can this be? The moon is thousands of miles away...thousands. How far can one really see? And why are we unable to see further? There is something out there that can see farther than I can. The binoculars prove that our eyes are not working as well as eyes somewhere else. Who has eyes that strong, and more? It seems we should be able to see this far, see this well on our own - without binoculars, or contact lenses. But then, why can't we see the nose on our face?

Romance & holidays

Comparative Studies

One never knows...

Sometimes I need to let things go.

I have come to the conclusion that I am such a whiner when left to my own devices.

New directions - Steps 21-23

Step #21 (of 36,432 steps)
Blog launch is coming along. I have an illustrator now. She is excited and looking forward to the whole idea of being an illustrator. I've been putting finishing touches on some new posts for the new blog. Funny, as I re-read, re-view and generally polish up what I've written I'm not sure I would call these fariytales. It makes me wonder how my voice will change and grow this coming year. Three posts a week is quite a challenge. I'm feeling good about stretching myself this way.

Step #23
I'll be talking with some folks that are a little quicker in the CSS side of blog management than I. That's the side that adds style and formatting to a blog. I found a nice background that fits the tone of what I think I'm going for. Cross your fingers that I will have "the look" I had hoped for when I first envisioned this.

Blog launch is set for January 1st. I'm over at Wordpress for now. I'll give an actual address for RSS feed and Readers sometime between Christmas and New Years. This is a rather public challenge for me. Public in a different way than running the 1/2 marathon last year. It is still every bit the challenge the marathon was. It definitely has the same bit of excitement.

That Chick Lying Under the Glass

A prince comes upon a princess in the woods. She is doing the Sleeping Beauty thing with the glass casket and all. This is all straight out of some Disney flick. He gazes. He sighs. He walks away. We think he’s Prince Charming. We don’t know who she is.

Every night, every single night, he comes to gaze on her in the moonlight. He brings a sandwich sometimes and hangs out while he chows down. Sometimes he talks to the glass as if it’s a conversation. Sometimes he crawls up on the glass enclosure and lies down and stares at the stars. During the day he attends to matters of state, to matters of the stable, to matters of such and one. No one would know he’s spending his nights hanging out in the forest staring at some chick encased in glass. Every night he gazes on the princess. Even he doesn’t know why.

The princess in the meantime is getting bed sores. She’s been lying there for god knows how long. So, one day she feels the shadow of the prince fall upon her and as the shadow lifts she peeks out one eye to see what’s what. So, Hey! It’s a guy. And he keeps coming back. After a couple weeks of this she is beginning to wonder what he’s doing. He leaves bread crumbs. He climbs on top of her glass house and smooshes his back and butt into the glass and then just lays there for a couple hours. Some nights he just starts his lips moving and he walks around and around the glass case. He’s starting to leave a trail.

She peeks out every now and then to see if anything is happening. For her sake, she wonders if this guy is ever going to lift the glass and see what happens? Does he know all she needs is a kiss and the world becomes roses? What would she say if she could? During the day she cannot help herself. She cries hot lava flows of tears. Her frustration soars. The tears in the meantime have nowhere to go. In the heat of the glass casket the salt is leeched out and the tears become crystals that heat even more and become diamonds. These damn diamonds start to fill the glass case she lies in. After a while it’s getting pretty hard to see the chick in the glass case as she is getting overrun by this sparkly stuff that refracts the light and makes her image pretty sketchy.

This prince is showing up every evening and every evening it’s getting harder and harder to see this chick. He’s beginning to wonder what he is even looking at. Finally, Mr. Charming with the sandwich can’t see her anymore and he’s wondering if the glass needs cleaning or something. So, he opens the casket and is showered on with diamonds. The princess smiles to see the prince finally opened the glass. It was getting hard to breathe.

The problem here is…Does he kiss her? Does he finish his sandwich? Does she have to pee so bad she has to find a tree first? What happens to the diamonds? Does the Sandwich Man deserve them? Do they stay with the chick? Do they split the diamonds 50/50? Deserve? Why is deserving something even part of this fairytale?

Two Weeks

Only two weeks to go for the marathon. I'm at the deadline of fund raising this week, with only $258 to raise to hit bare bottom minimum to be able to run. Send a couple bucks my way - for care and cure of Lymphomas and blood borne cancers - button is to the left. I want to also say thank you, from the bottom of my heart to those of you that have donated. I am blessed to have friends and readers and friends that care so much, that like me, and/or that are dealing with cancers right now. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm running for so many reasons now, not just the side of me that wanted to run a marathon.

Half the team ran in the San Diego marathon last weekend. I'm heading out early to practise this morning to hear the stories. For my half marathon I need to find someone that will be at the finish line to get my picture. The photos on Facebook for the San Diego group have been inspirational, really moving. I may feel this way because I know what we've each been through to get here. It's completely different with a back story.

Motivation & the Good Run

This evening was a good run. I ran a full 50 minutes, made it to the library and back. Last time I did this route it took an hour. I'm motivated to be stronger, faster than so far. For starters, I ran the hill. The hill is early in the run from my house. Last time I speed-walked the hill. I'm supposed to warm up easy for the first 10 minutes or so. I did run it "easy" but I still ran. I was already at the top of this hill by the time my timer beeped 15 minutes of running. This is good. I walked the prescried two mintues and was ready to run when the timer beeped again. By then I was on flat land and was able to elongate my stride. Nowhere today was I running slow enough to carry a conversation. And getting air into my lungs seemed more labored than I had anticipated, but I kept at it.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a rest day. No running. I have tomorrow off work so my plan is to run in the morning and rest for the rest of the day. Saturday is the team run. It's only 90 minutes this week (130 minutes last week). I don't want to be left behind anymore. I understand that by pushing myself I get stronger. I was happy to just be running before. But after two team runs that left me feeling less than stellar I see it is important to push myself when I am not with the team as much as I push myself when I am with the team. The work needs to be done behind the scenes if I am going to be able to step up to the plate with the confidence I felt going into this. As much as working my body, I've got a mind game to work out too.

I had no idea what I was getting into. And still, I'm glad to be here.

Never, never, never too late

I have been reading a blog for the last month or so by a man that has published his first book. He turns 70 this week.

Helen Hooven Santmeyer published her most famous book when she was eighty eight.

I got time left...plenty o' time.