I was perusing old e-mails looking for a particular link I wanted to share with a co-worker. Motivational stuff I thought would be useful. Instead of finding the e-mail I was looking for I found the e-mail regarding being laid off at work from two years ago. I find myself wallowing in it.
I wonder, of all the things I give away, toss out, clear from my space, why do I keep all my e-mails? Why did I keep that one? It should be motivational - I mean really, what a way to re-start life. It was certainly motivating at the time. I'm not feeling motivated at the moment. I scroll through all the e-mails in that one folder alone (the folder marked family) and I am struck by the missed opportunities, the dreams not made manifest. I wonder, any other day would I be seeing the connections that were made, the funnies that were shared, the airline tickets that have criss-crossed the country? I am sorry that I came across that e-mail. I'm sorry that I opened it again and read it. AND YET, I'm not sure I'm ready to delete it. Why is that?