Saturday, August 21, 2010

Back end of Business: The Paperwork Saga

I put K in charge of the bathroom when she got her part-time job. She is responsible for shampoo, conditioner, soap, razors, hair spray, toothpaste...all the consumables in the bathroom. Including toilet paper. Maybe you can see where this is going. Up till now K has been pretty cool about coming up with great smelling shampoos and body washes. She has offered up a grand assortment of hair sprays, conditioners and "polishers". When she bought toilet paper it filled the cupboard to the edge.

And then she didn't. I saw it coming. On Sunday I realized she was totally broke. Her payday wouldn't be here until this Friday(yesterday). We had between us a half a roll of toilet paper until Friday. I kept mum. It seemed fairly obvious to me how this week was going to be. I dug around in the back of the cupboard for the 1/8th roll of t.p. I'd tossed in the back one day last year when company was coming over (replaced with a full roll for the occassion). I took the partial roll of t.p. into my room and put it in my bureau in preparation for the inevitable. Mostly, I was curious what K would do? Would she ask me for money to fix the problem? I had it. Would she borrow a roll from a friend? There's an option. Would she come up with a hidden stash of cash? Nope, she's not that kind of money manager.

Monday morning we were out. I carried my partial roll with me from my room to the bathroom. I probably counted out the squares to see how long I could hold out while I was at it. And I carried my partial roll back to my room when I left the bathroom. Oh, the lengths a mother will go to see how their kids will handle a situation. Upon returning home from work on Monday there was the roll of paper towels from the kitchen in the bathroom. Lying ready on the counter were several carefully torn pieces of paper toweling, about the size of three squares of t.p. I don't think I normally smile when taking a whizz. This then is how K takes care of the problem. Substitution.

I did not offer help throughout the week. For that matter, I didn't say shit (pun intended). It was business as usual (another pun, thank you). (actually, there's quite a few puns sprinkeled in here...I'm having a good time with this subject...) I occassionally remembered to bring my secreted roll of t.p. with me. I occassionally forgot. K arrived home from work on Friday night with a great flourish of mondo mega-roll package of t.p. and her regular cash contribution for living here. Her face is beaming.

We have t.p. for another three months.


  1. Perhaps next time she'll get the new rolls of t.p. before her cash supply craps out...

    I have had to substitute before.

    Thinking of suitable puns here has wiped me out.

  2. Well...She is creative. I like it.

    She will be a survivor.