Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Background thoughts

At the time of my divorce there was some discussion among my support group that I should recieve a half interest in the assets that I shared with my then husband. I had let my then husband know, and I firmly believed (still do) that I did not want to take the house from him, not the car, the van, the camper or any of the wonderful and expensive woodworking tools in the garage. I wanted him to have all those things he cherished and had worked for. I was willing to walk away. I firmly believed that I would be taken care of. I did not worry about how an equitable split would be made. My support group worried about the "how". I believed that an equitable division would occur I just didn't know how.

I spent many hours in prayer and reflection and no obvious answers came to me. I gave this over to the universe. I handed it over completely the night before we met at the lawyers office. When I woke the next morning and eventually went to meet with my then husband and our lawyer I did not allow any thoughts to come to me of how this would all work out. In fact, no thoughts regarding this quandary came up at all. As I sat next to my then husband in the lobby area of the offices my then husband pulled out a letter he had received since I had moved out. He handed it to me. He didn't say anything, yet he was giving it to me. What he handed me was basically half of what we had together. It is no business here exactly what was in the letter. Suffice it to say that with faith alone I had received what I didn't know to ask for. It was given to me. I never demanded a thing. It was offered. It was the most respectful thing my ex husband had done for me in a very, very long time. We could both walk away with our heads held as high as one can in these situations.

I feel like this now. I know something is happening. I don't know what. I don't want to ask for anything specific as something I may never have considered is in the background. I merely need to be in a place to receive when it comes to the foreground.

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