Saturday, December 11, 2010

Paper shuffle

Amazing how paper spontaneously spawns more paper. I've been shifting through the paper that has grown in my apartment. It seems kind of like rabbits, once they start making babies there's no stopping them. I have a multitude of stacks of paper throughout the apartment. I don't know how they got there, how they grew so tall, nor what is in the stacks. Until, of course, I started filtering through them.

I have receipts. I don't know why. I have an entire stack of job postings I printed. It was a foot tall. Each of these papers have little notes written regarding key points, dates of application submittals, if I was able to contact anyone - or sent anything snail mail. It's rather depressing, that stack. I've made a new stack of most of it. That stack has a post-it on the top page. The post-it reads, "Shred".
Another stack is all the interesting things that catch my attention. What a cluster of random bits. There is no ryhme or reason to any of it. Much of it does not catch my attention today. Possibly because it is just a stack of paper. I've pulled up whole magazines - tore out the page I wanted and tossed the rest. I've made little stacks of paper hoping to find some themes among the mess. Big stacks into little stacks. Is this any different than big rocks into little rocks? I'm chained to paper. I have tablets and tablets of paper I've written on. Ideas, stories, whining bits, plans quickly forgotten. There's a page or two left to each tablet. Not much more. I wonder that I don't finish down to the last page of paper in the tablet.

The most interesting pieces of paper are the ones I started stories on. It's interesting to me that most of them have a fairytale theme. It makes me wonder how long I have had this idea in my head. I've put those papers aside so that I will flesh them out; hopefully make something of them. Once I've transposed a story from paper into a posted blog I toss out the paper. I do this with great flourish. It feels good. It feels better than crossing out lines on my To-do list.

Big stacks of paper down to little stacks of paper. It's like the leaves that seem to stay on the lawn after raking and bagging up the rest. More will fall from the trees anyway. It's like finding a glass in the living room after doing all the dishes. It's a seed to start the next crop of dishes. I would like a smaller crop.

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