I don't change jobs often. The job search this time feels different than ever before. But it's been a few years. As I'm reading job postings I find myself reading if I "fit", if it would be a definition I can live. Maybe that's where the headaches come.
For the position I have now the posting was written rather euphamistically. Nowhere did it say, "high stress" or "impossible hours". I'm reading postings differently this time. I like a challenge, but hey. I feel myself changing how I view my worklife desires.
It's getting harder mentally to even go into work. I'm afraid the next round of layoffs is coming so I don't want to go in. And yet, I am wishing the next round of layoffs would just get here so I can move on unencumbered. I called in sick on Tuesday, went in and then turned around and came home today. I'm just calling in tomorrow. It's not a real cold. I'm just light-headed and my stomache is doing loop to loops. Just nerves. I recognize this.
I've got names and phone numbers to call tomorrow; see if I can get an appointment with one of the services here in the next week.
Hope. I'm looking for hope. And a definition I can live with.