Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I don't change jobs often. The job search this time feels different than ever before. But it's been a few years. As I'm reading job postings I find myself reading if I "fit", if it would be a definition I can live. Maybe that's where the headaches come.

For the position I have now the posting was written rather euphamistically. Nowhere did it say, "high stress" or "impossible hours". I'm reading postings differently this time. I like a challenge, but hey. I feel myself changing how I view my worklife desires.

It's getting harder mentally to even go into work. I'm afraid the next round of layoffs is coming so I don't want to go in. And yet, I am wishing the next round of layoffs would just get here so I can move on unencumbered. I called in sick on Tuesday, went in and then turned around and came home today. I'm just calling in tomorrow. It's not a real cold. I'm just light-headed and my stomache is doing loop to loops. Just nerves. I recognize this.

I've got names and phone numbers to call tomorrow; see if I can get an appointment with one of the services here in the next week.

Hope. I'm looking for hope. And a definition I can live with.


  1. Actually, a potential employer would likely see the fact that you have the maturity to know what you want in a job as a plus. A good hire is one who provides benefit to the company long-term and that happens only when the employee is happy and stays long-term.

  2. I've had some really good jobs. I am hoping to pull another one of those "satisfying" ones again. I hate pulling the short straw.

  3. God, all I can think of is a pep talk, but pep talks suck and usually piss the person you're talking to off, so I won't go there.

    Just know I'm thinking good thoughts for you, wishing you happiness and hoping you find what you're looking for.