The change that will be here soon (job, family, home) plays with my reality and it is hard to accept graciously. The unknown of change that is coming is still scary. Even when I know it can be "better". I wonder what step I haven't yet taken that will bring me to the next plateau. I mean to be walking uphill, yet the landscape is too close for me to view my ascent. Am I walking uphill?
If only the course came with directions instead of feelings. This morning I woke in a pervasive cloud of fear; this not knowing. I can't know that I have taken the right steps until I get there. Am I taking enough steps; in the right direction; fast enough? How unfair that seems to me right now.
The All There Is is laughing at me this morning. I should relax and see that humor of it for myself. I feel there may be too many steps to take to relax just yet.