Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Reading during dinner

My bus buddy was sharing with me her thoughts on relationships. She has recently found a bit of success at Last weekend she had a date that went rather well. This coming weekend is another date that she is looking forward to. We speak as two single women. I wonder sometimes that I am happy enough being single. Yet, to hear her talk I wonder at how I live. She spoke most directly about the loneliness that comes with being single. This evening I reheated last night's dinner and read my book while I ate. There are food stains on those pages now. The book is getting good and I didn't want to set it aside while I ate. I am not lonely when I have a good book to read.

Earlier this year I purchased two tennis lessons; one for me, one for my friend that enjoys tennis as well. Of the many lessons I have gone to, she has made it to two. These are the things that make me lonely. Why am I going to tennis lessons when there really isn't anyone but my friend to play tennis with?

I wonder that when I am in a relationship I feel more lonely for that person not being there. I feel lonely waiting for that person to get off work, or to call or talk after work I guess. When I am not in a relationship I don't worry about whether I feel lonely or not. I am alone at those times by choice. That is not loneliness.

I have been considering eHarmony and I dabbled in the last year during "free weekends" without much to say about it. If I were to get serious about not being single there are ways to change it. Is there a point where it is too late to take action? Am I getting too set in my ways as a single woman? I thought I was clearing my heart and my guilt to be a more prepared person when a glimpse of a relationship showed up. I feel pretty clear anymore.

I'm not lonely. I wonder that I feel no guilt at being alone.


  1. Never too late for anything my friend! Hey, I waited until I was 42 before I finally found the right lady.Now its been 16 yrs and we are more in love than ever!But being single isnt so bad either-its all up to you-I imagine there are lots and lots of men who would give anything to have a serious relationship or marriage with you! "HUGS"

  2. If you want to change that there are ways...I don't think I'd go for any match making site..I don't know, maybe they're okay, they just seem fishy to me...Don't feel guilty about not feeling guilty about being alone! That's a lot of guilt...and guilt is no good..I'm single and I absolutely love it, I'm staying this way!'s true that if you want to take action, and you're ready, then that is the time! Ron's right, it's never too late!

  3. I don't know. Relationships are hard work and if you get stuck in the wrong one you can really lose track of yourself.

    I have been in a great relationship and it has seen some bumps recently. I suppose it takes work but there are times I just want to think my own thoughts.

    I wish you well. I don't think I could do better BUT I can see the merits of being single and the merits of being attached.

    Life's catch 22...