OMG. Walking through the house tonight I see I now have again a dining table. And chairs. I have a sofa. I have comfy chairs and the television is talking from Comedy Central, as most nights. Its all so very normal. Ugh.
I liked it better when I had a plywood board set up on saw horses with my sewing machine in the dining area and Katie's never ending quilt project. I liked it better with just the comfy chairs and no couch (and the television reserved for DVDs). There was room then to roll out a yoga mat and stretch to the four winds. I liked it with all my papers from novels in waiting lying at my bedside. I liked the stacks of books surrounding the comfy chairs. I liked it because it was a working home. Now it's just so normal.
It's time to re-infuse this house back into the creative sanctuary it was. I'm contemplating how to do this without disrupting the status quo my Thing One holds so dear. Mostly I think I need less stuff. Time to walk around it agin with an eye for what can be removed.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Verb or noun?
Back to a topic I have some control over...I hope.
Budget. Verb or noun? The obsolete definition, noun derivitive, for 'budget' is small pouch or bag. I can attest that this definition is not as obsolete as the dictionary contends. My budget is not a large pouch, nor a massive container (an antique sugar bowl holds my spare change and it never gets full...it never goes empty either for that matter.). My budget is a small, emotional pouch.
I had to look up the word budget. I had to look it up to see if the connotations I give it are actually written into the definition. They are not. I mentally fight this word budget, as if the word itself is the problem. And maybe it is. Maybe I have given so much power to this word that simply means a little pouch (and makes me smile when 'codpiece' comes to mind...and then that makes it all better. And somehow just now a budget and a man's lively bits became synchronized). And I realize I should have no problems budgeting. And I don't, as long as I keep an eye on things. (Funny, I don't have problems with those lively bits when I keep an eye on them either.)
How did I get so far off the mark today? The above was NOT on my topic list. (hands go up in the air) Never mind...new topic tomorrow.
Budget. Verb or noun? The obsolete definition, noun derivitive, for 'budget' is small pouch or bag. I can attest that this definition is not as obsolete as the dictionary contends. My budget is not a large pouch, nor a massive container (an antique sugar bowl holds my spare change and it never gets full...it never goes empty either for that matter.). My budget is a small, emotional pouch.
I had to look up the word budget. I had to look it up to see if the connotations I give it are actually written into the definition. They are not. I mentally fight this word budget, as if the word itself is the problem. And maybe it is. Maybe I have given so much power to this word that simply means a little pouch (and makes me smile when 'codpiece' comes to mind...and then that makes it all better. And somehow just now a budget and a man's lively bits became synchronized). And I realize I should have no problems budgeting. And I don't, as long as I keep an eye on things. (Funny, I don't have problems with those lively bits when I keep an eye on them either.)
How did I get so far off the mark today? The above was NOT on my topic list. (hands go up in the air) Never mind...new topic tomorrow.
Monday, June 27, 2011
One never knows...
Sometimes I need to let things go.
I have come to the conclusion that I am such a whiner when left to my own devices.
I have come to the conclusion that I am such a whiner when left to my own devices.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Lightbulbs
It would help getting dressed in the morning if I actually replaced the lightbulb that sputtered out on Monday morning. I keep forgetting that the lightbulb is nons electricus until I get up each morning. With the Solstice it is light outside until 10 pm or so (okay...9:45 pm) so I don't notice or remember to pillage the closet for lightbulbs until I am in the middle of the morning beat-the-clock mode.
To my credit, or not, it took until 9:30 this morning to realize the reason my pants fit funny is they are not the pants I had intended to wear. It also goes to show how much I really look at myself. Not much. This is a perfectly darling outfit when I have my chocolate brown slacks on. It's just kind of Seattle funky in these black kickers. Yes, I wore the wrong color combination of clothing today.
It's one of those days that one needs to hold one's head up, stride with purpose and pretend one intended to dress this way. (I DO TOO dress myself, says the three year old with pride.)
Note to self: Replace lightbulbs FIRST, then you can have dinner, or go play...
To my credit, or not, it took until 9:30 this morning to realize the reason my pants fit funny is they are not the pants I had intended to wear. It also goes to show how much I really look at myself. Not much. This is a perfectly darling outfit when I have my chocolate brown slacks on. It's just kind of Seattle funky in these black kickers. Yes, I wore the wrong color combination of clothing today.
It's one of those days that one needs to hold one's head up, stride with purpose and pretend one intended to dress this way. (I DO TOO dress myself, says the three year old with pride.)
Note to self: Replace lightbulbs FIRST, then you can have dinner, or go play...
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Not the Saturday I Planned
As I went to bed Friday my entire Saturday had been planned out. As a group leader for our buddhist area (not district leader, not chapter...Just good old fashion front line facilitator type stuff) I was due at the local Buddha Room at 9 a.m. to kick-off morning prayers. I like this stuff. It's a drop in, so once it's started I can leave when chanting gets rolling.
The plan from there was to head over to the Naked Parade (just shows what kind of Buddhist I am) in Fremont District to celebrate the coming solstice. Then head over to good friend's house to join the celebration for her guy friend's birthday. And that would round out the night at a good unhealthy hour which I would simply sleep off tomorrow morning. Somewhere in this back-to-back schedule I was going to stop by the homestead here and bake cookies for my dad, being Father's Day and all this weekend.
Friday night I fell asleep content and feeling over-full from life. Its a good feeling. I woke up to rain. Oh, that's right...I live in the North Wet. I have selective memory...often. I plan for fair weather events quite nicely. I somehow never quite remember the foul weather resources available, nor to make contingency plans. But most of all I am sick and tired of wearing my rain coat. Especially when I planned on a cute summer dress that's been tucked away in the back of my closet all winter taunting me to believe I would ever get to wear it again, and my new white flip-flops to set it off. Summer dresses that talk to me from the closet do not like to be covered in a rain coat.
I wore the dress to morning prayers. It's not a dress made of sugar, so running between the car and the building is just fine. Mostly I prayed that the rain would stop so I could go to the parade and enjoy it. It's crowded for the Fremont Parade. I mean this whole solstice event at the Center of the Universe is huge. The parade goes on forever - the naked part is really just a part - with the art and the community and the families involved. It is totally cool. And totally attended. There is no sitting room near the curb unless one gets there to stake a claim early in the morning. Standing in the rain, straining to see over people's heads, all this somehow lost it's appeal as the rain continued to bounce off the cement and wet the underside of my car. Alas, I am a fair weather parade attendee. Somehow I feel I failed, even if there is a next year.
Knowing I was not going to the parade I still did not stay for the entire prayer meeting. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up chocolate chips, some butter and a bag of brown sugar. No parade? Then it's time to bake cookies. I figure I have hours before the birthday party, positively hours.
I have now baked and ironed, had dinner, watched the 2010 version of "True Grit" (Which I purposely avoided as I have the story memorized-yes, I can lip-synch this movie. That and "The Sons of Katie Elder". Don't start with me. I am being a true friend to have watched this video), read a book in one sitting (The author got paid for this? I wonder how long it took her to write it?) and it is only 8 p.m.
I'm still wearing the summer dress, and a lovely lightweight cardigan that sets off its colors without diminishing its summer-ness. The b'day party ended up being family. I was smart enough to text first regarding timing and food. The return text was what keyed me in to what to expect. I am not really wanting to be family over there yet. I feel better for staying home. There are some people that family and friends co-mingle so regularly you can't tell which is which. This isn't one of those events, or types of people even.
I actually had a good day. I got this dress worn so it will quit talking in the closet for a little while. I got prayers off and running. I got chocolate chip cookies and ginger-snaps baked up. I watched a movie for a friend. I have two weeks worth of blouses and slacks pressed and ready for work. I read a book. I talked to my own family. I avoided being the third wheel at another's family event - or is that fifth wheel, I never know.
So, tomorrow I figure sweats, a hoodie and a pair of thick cushy socks. Before they start talking to me.
The plan from there was to head over to the Naked Parade (just shows what kind of Buddhist I am) in Fremont District to celebrate the coming solstice. Then head over to good friend's house to join the celebration for her guy friend's birthday. And that would round out the night at a good unhealthy hour which I would simply sleep off tomorrow morning. Somewhere in this back-to-back schedule I was going to stop by the homestead here and bake cookies for my dad, being Father's Day and all this weekend.
Friday night I fell asleep content and feeling over-full from life. Its a good feeling. I woke up to rain. Oh, that's right...I live in the North Wet. I have selective memory...often. I plan for fair weather events quite nicely. I somehow never quite remember the foul weather resources available, nor to make contingency plans. But most of all I am sick and tired of wearing my rain coat. Especially when I planned on a cute summer dress that's been tucked away in the back of my closet all winter taunting me to believe I would ever get to wear it again, and my new white flip-flops to set it off. Summer dresses that talk to me from the closet do not like to be covered in a rain coat.
I wore the dress to morning prayers. It's not a dress made of sugar, so running between the car and the building is just fine. Mostly I prayed that the rain would stop so I could go to the parade and enjoy it. It's crowded for the Fremont Parade. I mean this whole solstice event at the Center of the Universe is huge. The parade goes on forever - the naked part is really just a part - with the art and the community and the families involved. It is totally cool. And totally attended. There is no sitting room near the curb unless one gets there to stake a claim early in the morning. Standing in the rain, straining to see over people's heads, all this somehow lost it's appeal as the rain continued to bounce off the cement and wet the underside of my car. Alas, I am a fair weather parade attendee. Somehow I feel I failed, even if there is a next year.
Knowing I was not going to the parade I still did not stay for the entire prayer meeting. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up chocolate chips, some butter and a bag of brown sugar. No parade? Then it's time to bake cookies. I figure I have hours before the birthday party, positively hours.
I have now baked and ironed, had dinner, watched the 2010 version of "True Grit" (Which I purposely avoided as I have the story memorized-yes, I can lip-synch this movie. That and "The Sons of Katie Elder". Don't start with me. I am being a true friend to have watched this video), read a book in one sitting (The author got paid for this? I wonder how long it took her to write it?) and it is only 8 p.m.
I'm still wearing the summer dress, and a lovely lightweight cardigan that sets off its colors without diminishing its summer-ness. The b'day party ended up being family. I was smart enough to text first regarding timing and food. The return text was what keyed me in to what to expect. I am not really wanting to be family over there yet. I feel better for staying home. There are some people that family and friends co-mingle so regularly you can't tell which is which. This isn't one of those events, or types of people even.
I actually had a good day. I got this dress worn so it will quit talking in the closet for a little while. I got prayers off and running. I got chocolate chip cookies and ginger-snaps baked up. I watched a movie for a friend. I have two weeks worth of blouses and slacks pressed and ready for work. I read a book. I talked to my own family. I avoided being the third wheel at another's family event - or is that fifth wheel, I never know.
So, tomorrow I figure sweats, a hoodie and a pair of thick cushy socks. Before they start talking to me.
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