The answer is...

The answer is, I value a sense of humor. "Humor is the sunshine of the soul." When times are good a genuine smile, a chuckle, simple laughter for me is a matter of releasing all that feels good. And why wouldn't I want to share that? To engage others with me in that is a communion. When times are not so good a genuine smile, a pun, even a poor joke, all of it can lighten the load. I cannot imagine not valuing a sense of humor.

"Nothing is as bad as you want it to be." is a bit of advise that was handed to me as I fretted and worried myself into a disconnected state many, many years ago. I've held to this saying. My brain may want to tell me otherwise. But, this bit reminds me that my brain is not what is actually happening. This bit reminds me there is always a bigger picture to look at. This bit reminds me that stories are just that, stories. Very few are non-fiction. Fiction is the "What if" stories, the "What did he/she mean?" stories, the "Why me?" stories. If my life is going to be filled with fiction then I'm going to write it as a comedy (in the comedy/tragedy diametric). If the story is looking bleak and dreary a quick re-write of the next act is pretty easy - it's all in pencil ,at best, anyway. Deus ex machina is always available - coincidence works great for starters. I repeatedly see coincidences and de ja vu is a regular happening in my life anymore.

I enjoy a good comedy, both the long playing ones and the comedies for the moment. A running joke in a show gets richer with the repeating. A running joke in a schtick is the connecting device in a lot of stand-up comedy. Not that my life is a running joke, merely that the running jokes in my life have woven in so richly that to smile as they recur is natural anymore.

Nothing is perfect. I'm not looking for perfection. Perfection is boring. There's no ribbing in perfection, there's nothing to rib or joke about there. As this big picture (my life, this time around) unfolds for me I treasure the fun, the smiles, the laughter. After every major upheaval there's relief and lightness to take the place of the stress and worry. I suppose I am open to releasing this stress and worry and simply allow the laughter and smiles that space to hang out. It seems a decent trade-off.